headcanon: since meeting ant man, no one dares to fuck with spider man cause they think he can control spiders and fuck that tbh. he defeats villains by threatening to order spiders to infest their house,, his success rate is 100%, new york is crime-free in less than a month,
antman:
villain: what you gonna do huh? steal my picnic food? lmao lemme get the magnifying glass
spiderman:
villain:
villain: ill just turn myself in,
Um actually,
it was bold of me to assume he wouldnt actually do this in canon,
i love walking around my house at night wearing a too small tshirt and underwear it makes me feel like the slutty girl who dies first in a horror movie
the only bad part about going to the zoo is hearing adult men confidently tell their kids or gfs objectively incorrect information about the animals we’re looking at and having to remain silent. do u know the restraint it takes to say nothing when a grown adult man tells someone “falcons are in the same family as eagles” next to me? no babygirl. no.
fyi falcons are not closely related to other birds of prey (hawks/eagles/buzzards). falcons are actually parrots that minmaxed for a glass cannon dps build.
it’s so stupid that you can’t think your way out of the mental health trenches. like you can know exactly what is wrong, why it’s upsetting you, and you can walk yourself through all of it logically and Understand it but your brain just responds like
People be like oh you’re in your 20s you have a whole life to live but I already feel as if I’ve missed every opportunity and made all the wrong decisions and it’s just fucked now
